December 6, 2013
I recently put in my vacation requests for the entirety of next year. I do not know when my time off will be. I could have a week off in May, or July, or September. I have no plans, no anticipations, nothing I have my sights set on, and in these moments a unique feeling is born. I have a feeling of effortless wonder. It is the feeling of a child with a new box of crayons. Not the little box. The big one! One hundred and twenty colors! The box your mother kept tucked away in her special-projects supplies. But now you have a box all to yourself! There are so many colors, but more than that, they are all sharp with perfect tips and crisp, untorn wrapping. You have a new sketchpad, too, with serene blank pages. It is all so fresh, unblemished, and blameless. You think that nothing you could do with either will be as perfect as they are right now. Anything you will draw will have the flaws of its creator. Anything you create will fall short of your vision. However, now, in this moment, they are perfect.
Never-the-less I can see what the page might come to look like.
Maybe it will hold me kite-boarding off the coast of Mexico. I took lessons on the Hood River in Oregon a year ago. It was amazing! The massive kite powered through the upstream-blowing wind. On my page, I can see the beautiful Mexican town on this coast or that. I can hear the prophetic ocean waves coming in without failure, as I sit on the beach, resting, and enjoying the rhythm. The hot air and cool water take turns soothing a body exhausted from the heroic effort of containing the kite’s energy. The sand cascading off my overturned palm relaxes my mind, drained from the precision of learning an unfamiliar challenge. The whole scene comes together in the perfection of a postcard, exemplifying the artful highlights.
Maybe vacation time will come early this year. With the snow unmelted, instead of the beach, I’ll travel to the mountains of the Rocky’s to ski on sleeping giants. I can envision the light shining down on the snow-covered peaks, radiating their beauty. They, from a distance, look as virtuous as heavenly angels, and, up close, prove as mischievous and treacherous as their counterparts. Night brings adventure of its own, as music and dancing fill the crisp air. The cold is fought off with hot tubs, and hot chocolate. Adventure plays on in its own fantasia, sounding over the peeks, until my melody can blend into its existence.
Maybe I’ll have time in the summer to visit my brother in Germany. Or maybe I’ll explore the Chilean Andes. Maybe I’ll take a solo voyage and enjoy the serenity of being with oneself. Maybe I’ll travel with companions to share the experience. The sights, smells, and feelings all run together in joyful mystery!
Right now the page is blank and clean. The time is empty and unfulfilled. All I can see is an open span, limited in its breadth, but unrestricted in the eternity held within. Vacant time given like a gift to fill in ANY way chosen. The options are countless, and in this perfect, clean, moment they all exist! The time will come for decisions and plans. For now I look upon the options like an excited child with new crayons, and a spotless sketchpad; I look upon them madly, with limitless wonder, and vivacious intent!
-Michael Speck