February 3, 2016
Last year about this time of year, I had just returned from shredding the slopes of Breckenridge, CO, and I wrote a post asking “What price would you put on waking up excited to experience your day?”
This year it was back to the snowy frost of Devilshead, WI. And while it doesn’t quite impart the majesty of the Rocky Mountain peaks, having been there much more often, this years snowy romp felt like my backyard playground.
(Gotta get the GoPro ready for action!)
Colorado was a challenging adventure. Wisconsin was a chance to lean back, relax, and have a little fun! ‘Cause what’s life without a little fun? (If fun isn’t somewhere on your life’s priority list, you’re probably doing it wrong.)
“That’s So Epic!”
Yep, those were the high pitched words of a 4 year old, wandering around on the 4th of July staring up at the sky as color broke through from another plane of reality with a violent crack. BOOM! “That’s so Epic!” BOOM BOOM! “Wow, that’s so Epic!”
That was a few years back. Now it was my turn to be epic, as for some reason we all pitched down the slick slope into the terrain park. Bandanna up. Goggles on. My earphones were in, as I cackled lightheartedly to myself like a madman. Swish, Swish, I skied down the hill. And I set my eyes on my jump.
All two feet of it! I set my jaw in determination, and crouched slightly as I increased my speed. The jump came closer. Time to be epic! I hit the snowy ramp floater through the air for… I would have to guess, at least 1/10 of a second. Then down I came, skis smacking the ground. The crowd was cheering! A perfect landing!! Woah!
Then I picked myself up off my butt, and continued down the run with a big smile on my face.
“Life’s Not All About Fun, and Games”
Then maybe you’re doing it wrong.
Did my epic landing count?
To who? In what sense? This isn’t the X-Games. I make the rules here.
Having fun with the experiences we fill our lives up with seems to be integral to short, and long term happiness. We are a playful species. We like games. We like humor. We spend large amounts of time, and resources in an attempt to be entertained. TV, books, music, shows, jokes, games, travel, and the list goes on. Right now, I am writing with the hopes that you are at least somewhat entertained because I know that if you aren’t, the chances of getting you to the meat of the article, and giving you the tools, help, and value that are my goal are slim to none.
Sure life’s not all about fun, and games, so if that’s the intent of this often insane utterance, I agree. However, too often, this sort of expression comes up from people who seem oddly irritated by others having fun.
If you don’t let yourself have a little fun now, and again, if you don’t give yourself permission to be happy, how are you ever going to get there?
Becoming a Happy Little Ninja
Have you ever noticed that the Masters of martial arts stories are both Physical Experts and Mental Experts? Not only can they perform seemingly superhuman feats with their bodies, they also have a sage wisdom about them. Both come from intense practice.
Happiness is the same way, depending on physical activities, such as exercise, and mental conditions, such as our moods. Here I’m going to give you four training techniques to help us turn ourselves into happy little ninjas. Let’s get going then:
Let’s Get Physical
Number 1: The Smile
So we all know we smile when we’re happy, but more and more research is showing that it is a two way street. You’ve heard the saying fake it till you make it? Well that’s exactly what we are talking about here.
The idea is to practice smiling using a “Duchenne smile,” or one that effects your eyes as well as you’re lips. Some people find it helpful to use a mirror, or pleasant thoughts. However, I find that the times I want to put this into action, I’m not alone with a mirror, and usually not in a state of mind where everything seems all hunky-dory, if you know what I mean.
Practice smiling in the face of adversity. Like actually smiling at it! When you are feeling stressed, mad, or upset- smile. It most definitely feels awkward at first. Plus you kinda have to try not to look out of your mind crazy. (Don’t look any big dudes directly in the eye while your practicing… or your mother.) However after a short while you should notice your mood improving, or stall it’s decline.
*Expert Ninja technique: Do a little dance as well, or skip. NOTE: Do not do this in public! People really will think you are crazy, the way you all think I am right now. This is for closed-door bedrooms only… but it helps.
(My Ski Jump… Haha totally just kidding!)
Number 2: Stand up Straight
Certain postural positions have an effect you our moods, as well see more about next. However, techniques and exercises, aside just stand up straight. It makes you feel better, and it make other people feel better about you.
Next time you are feeling out of whack, look at how you are standing or sitting. Chances are you will have taken on a slouched position. Now I’m not saying which causes which, cause chances are it is some of both. However, you’ve heard the saying ‘Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want.’ Well work won’t let me wear a red cape everyday (I’m partial to Batman anyway,) but I can sure stand like it! which brings us to:
Number 3: Power Positions
This is where we actual stand like, dunt, da, da, da: Superman! Or Wonder Woman! (No comment on which I prefer.)
Amy Cuddy gave a great TED talk, “Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are,” in which she details her research on body language, and its effect on our mood. Her team found that taking on strong open positions for 2 minutes could temporarily increase risk tolerance, and testosterone levels, while decreasing cortisol. (All of these are characteristics of powerful, effective leaders.)
Likewise, her researchers found that participants who took on these positions prior to fake interviews were preferred for hire by judges. (The judges were blinded to purpose of the study, and did not know whether or not these participants took on these positions before the interview began.)
This is pretty much the circumstance Amy recommends taking on these positions as well. That is, prior to social situation where you feel you are going to be evaluated.
There are pictures of the poses in the video, but the most noteworthy is the typical “Superhero” position with legs spread slightly, back tall, and hands on the hips.
So next time you need a little power-up, maybe a change in posture will do the trick.
(…this was my ski jump.)
The Mentalist
Number 4: Introspection
The training technique for improving the mental conditions for our happiness that I want to share with you today is all basically about one question: “Is what you are doing working?”
That’s because we all, for ourselves, have to regularly take hard looks at what we are doing, and what we believe, and judge whether it is getting us the results we want. Are our beliefs helping us live a better life? Do we need to adjust the way we think about something or behave?
Happiness is Within You
There are two meanings to this. Both seem to be wisdom, from the ages, and you need to understand both to be a happy little ninja.
John Milton wrote about the first meaning over 300 years ago in Paradise Lost:
“Receive thy new Possessor: One who brings
A Mind not to be chang’d by Place or Time.
The mind is its own place, and in it self
Can make a Heav’n of Hell, a Hell of Heav’n.”
Milton says that where ever you are your mind has an amazing ability to make itself happy.
More recently science has come along to back up his ideas. Dan Gilbert (A personal favorite of mine. I also greatly enjoyed his book “Stumbling on Happiness”) presents data that one year after winning the lottery, and one year after becoming a paraplegic, people tend to be, on average, equally happy.
However, it seems that these groups are more so settling back to their “baseline” level of happiness what ever happens.
Which brings us to the second meaning of the idea that happiness is within you: It is because our own inner narrative, and beliefs guide the decisions we make, the way we perceive our situations, our satisfaction with life, and our happiness.
It matters much more why we are doing what we are doing, that what we are actually doing. To ourselves anyway. To the world it maybe more beneficial if you spend your time practicing medicine, than cooking. (But really, no one can see through that dense fog in to the future effects of our actions.)
To ourselves what matters is the why.
Are you working for a paycheck, or are you working for an ideal, or person (client or manager) you believe in? Are you taking care of yourself, or are you taking care of a loved one? Are you doing something like an epic ski jump because it aligns with your identity (as someone that has fun and doesn’t take things to serious, not as an X-Games athlete -in case you needed clarification,) or are you doing it because you need to prove something to someone else?
I know, the mental stuff makes smiling when you are mad look easy. But it’s important. Take time to look inside.
Only then will you truly be a happy little ninja!
-Michael Speck