July 16, 2015
One failed goal, and one skipped week of writing while on vacation is all it took. I was down for the count. 1…2…3…4… disappointment …5… self-prescribed exhaustion …6… writing isn’t important this week …7… I’m too busy …8… I don’t feel like it …9…
So here we are, and a project that has always given me energy seems like a full blown workout. Writing, which has, even in the worst of situations, been gratifying in the end, feels like a chore. But the bell is about to go off. Get up, or shut up time. What would you do?
Even Your Passion Isn’t Bulletproof
Humans often misunderstand what is foreign to them, and that is especially the case when it comes to the ever elusive goal of “finding my passion.” Passion isn’t some magical subject, or activity that will constantly fill you with feelings of happiness, excitement, euphoria, and desire. That’s called crack, and crack is bad for you!
We like to think that, “if only I could find my passion, I would never feel empty again.” Everything would be simpler. It would just falling into place. We would always, and forever be warmed by emotions of joy, and satisfaction. Never again would we feel that yearning. The one we don’t know how to fill. Surely, if we could just find it, passion would set right all the missing, or broken pieces.
Guess again. Passion is the mind-stuff that helps to keep you going. It’s those activities, ideas, or topics that interest, and excite us. It is not the interest, excitement, or progress itself. Even after finding an idea you are passionate about, it is still HARD. It still takes work. Dreams are not wishes, and passion is only a means to an end, not the end in, and of itself.
Even the projects we are passionate about will let us down. We fall out of rhythm. Then all of the sudden, we shortsightedly lose track of why we felt so strongly about our goals to begin with. So lets go through my excuses:
Disappointment
Fledgeling passions are incredibly susceptible to disappointment, and discouragement. This is because, admittedly, we don’t know what we are doing! However, Newsflash: We aren’t suppose to. This is a new adventure. Unfortunately, this feeling still runs very strong. Then, when we are offered some benign negative criticism, or when we fail to meet some arbitrarily decided goal, we give it unnecessary consideration. Even an overwhelming level of passion doesn’t automatically equal knowledge, and thus our projects are more sensitive early on. In fact, the more we were excited, the stronger the disappointing feeling that we are bungling this so awfully is. Which leads us to:
Self-prescribed Exhaustion
Feeling over-whelmed? Life piling up on you? Have more to-do’s than ink to scratch them out? Try brand new, prescription-strength, Exhaustion! Guaranteed to make procrastination A-OK! (Statements not evaluated by the FDA.) If you are “exhausted” who could blame you for taking a play off. Our passion is suppose to make us feel good, not be a burden, right? Just relax, and recoup a little bit. You’re too tiered. Which again leads us to:
Writing Isn’t Important this Week
The hell it isn’t. One week off a project does not have to mean a serious disruption. However, let’s face it. It’s kind of like saying “One Ho-Ho won’t hurt.” three weeks into your “chicken and artichoke only” diet. It’s not going to make you gain five pounds, but the bucket of ice cream that comes next might. Hiccups in new habits are notoriously disrupting to our successes, and the goals we are passionate about are not immune. All because one missed opportunity turns into:
I’m Too Busy
All the sudden a project we’ve made time for consistently for months gets pushed aside for a period of time to be determined. We would really like to get back to that project we were so excited about. -Especially now that those useless Exhaustion supplements have worn off. Who gave me those anyway?- However, life happens, and there is just to much going on now. If I can just get some of this caught up, maybe we can start again next week. However next week:
I Don’t Feel like It
In fact, I don’t really remember what was so great about the whole endeavor. It certainly doesn’t sound that exciting. Like an apathetic breakup we start wondering what we ever saw in it. Seems to be more work than it’s worth. And on, and on, and on …9…
Working on the Projects You Are Passionate about Isn’t a Just a Good Idea, It Is Necessary
Nevermind the excuses. Nevermind that failures, and set backs are a feature of the process, not it’s demise. Nevermind that those feelings of exhaustion are only there to combat the feelings of fear they comfortably mask. Nevermind the importance of maintaining focus on new habits, or the reality that time is a hurdle that was always surmounted before. Nevermind feelings, and their lies. Nevermind the excuses! It’s time to throw back a few punches.
So if those are the reasons (excuses!) to give up, here are the reasons not to.
Passion is a desire for something that does not exist outside of you, to be brought into reality, and it is so strong that we are willing to try to break that existential barrier to get it there. However, the corresponding work we do provides for another need entirely. Finding, pursuing, and refusing to give up on projects we feel a passion for (however small they may be) adds something to us that can not be found anywhere else.
Passionate projects fulfill us. They add something to our lives we aren’t getting from our work, or relationships. It doesn’t matter whether they function as a creative outlet, as a source of inspiration, or impart a sense of pride in something created, or accomplished. These projects add meaning, and purpose to our lives. We get inspired off ourselves. We feel empowered by our own ability. While they are challenging, they are part of the support system that makes every other part of our lives easier. We think clearer. We love more genuinely. We become stronger, and more able. They make us better at every other facet of our reality.
That is why they are necessary. That is why we can’t give up on them.
[DING]
…
Alright, I’m ready for round 2! Woozy. But ready.
-Michael Speck
Charlotte
July 30, 2015
Great article, I love your honesty here. Disappointment that is a biggy for me . I always feel like I don’t want I am doing but as you say it is a new adventure we aren’t meant to. Thanks as well for the reasons not to give up so often it can be easy to focus on the reasons why to give up. This is a reminder to focus on the other side.
Charlotte
Michael Speck
July 30, 2015
Thanks Charlotte! Good to hear. Disappointment, and discouragement are rough. Usually though when it comes to personal projects it either stems from comparing ourselves to others, or not meeting our our goals. If we can remember to only judge ourselves against ourselves (not others), as well as to cut ourselves some slack when we lag behind our own expectations, I think we’ll be just fine.