March 2, 2016

Do you want to know why you never seem to be as good as the people around you? Ever feel like you aren’t as smart as them? You feel like you work slower, get less done, and stand gaping in awe as you watch them.

I do.

Is it low self-esteem? Nope. I’m pretty much awesome.

Is it negative self-talk. Often, but that’s not what we’re talking about here.

Am I measuring my normal, against their highlights? Not this time.

Am I stupid? My mommy says I’m the smartest boy in the whole wide world!

So I began to wonder, what’s the deal? Because throughout my life, I have always looked around, and not been as good as my peers.

Recently It’s Come to My Why I Never Seem to Measure up to the People around Me

First a quick recap of my inadequacy. Ah I remember it so… fondly(?)

In the second half of grade school, the smart kids were taken out of class for an hour or two once a day, or week (I don’t remember exactly) for some smart-kid class. What I do remember is thinking, But I’m smart. I get good grades. Why am I not in the group. I asked my friend once what they did, and he told me they worked on brain puzzles, and thinking-things like that. I like thought puzzles!

In recreational sports I ran as hard as anyone, and tried harder than most, but I was, maybe, in the middle of the pack.

I went on to college to earn my Doctor of Pharmacy Degree, and throughout my education, I realized there always were people getting better grades, while studying less, and quicker.

In my professional career, I manage a team of colleagues. However, I can’t help, but look at other managers, and notice the finesse with which they lead. Meanwhile I bumble around clumsily.

So to recap. I’m a slow learner, who is not as smart, athletic, or charismatic as his peers. Awesome-sauce.

There Is More to Your Story than You See

So that’s it then, huh? The reason I don’t seem to measure up to my peers is pretty simply because I don’t.

It’s easy to feel that way, until you realize that there is something missing from all this. What’s the reason for all this ‘not measuring up’? Genetics? Believe it if you want, but I refuse, because I see a much more transparent, and likely culprit.

Ambition.

Ambition

The reason you are never as good as the people around you is that you are an ambitious person! It is because you keep tackling harder, and harder life challenges. You are constantly swapping out peer groups that you can compete with for those that are way ahead of you. You want more. You have ambition, and goals, and heart!

Like a video game, you keep leveling up, and going after the next adventure.

You put yourself into situations where you feel you have, honestly, no business being. And then you go after it.

You never feel like you are on the same level as your peers because a short while ago you weren’t. Maybe it was 6 months ago. Maybe 2 years. But you are still learning this new skill.

Maybe this level is taking you longer than some of the others. Maybe the last stage took them 5 years. Maybe your priorities are just different. Don’t get bogged down comparing all the details. You don’t know them all, and you’ll never win.

Focus on what you are working on. Practice, learn, and achieve.

You are doing ‘better’  than a great many people. Someday, they may do ‘better’ than you. Ignore them. Follow your ambition!

I believe in a sink or swim tragedy to tackling problems. However, I also know that people are more buoyant than they think, and that people must be allowed to fail to succeed in the long run.

Getting in over your head is a good thing. It means you are biting off achievement in huge chunks. It also means, you are very regularly going to be sitting next to people who seem smarter, learn faster, and appear miles ahead of you.

Instead of becoming down, or overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy, learn from them. Get good at what you are doing. And then, move on to your next ambition.

You May Not Even Realize You Are Doing It but You Are

If this still feels foreign to you, if you feel that you are not an ambitious person, recognize then that it is just something you do without thinking about.

Ask yourself, “What am I doing now that I wasn’t 5 years ago?” How about 1 year ago? 6 months?

Things are going to come up.

Often the ambitions we have aren’t really goals we are mapping out. We don’t realize we are leveling up. There is no big banner flashing across the screen. There is no tally of likes, and friends.

We just go on living our lives, until we look around one day, and everyone seems better than us again. It’s because you are more ambitious than you realize. You are moving faster than you realize, and achieving more!

Want to know why you never seem to measure up to your peers?

Because you have ambition. So stop comparing so much, and just keep doing!

-Michael Speck

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