November 25, 2015
“The miracle of gratitude is that it shifts your perception to such an extent that it changes the world you see.”
-Dr Robert Holden
“Welcome to therapy.” That’s what her door should of said. It didn’t.
I entered a rather plain, barely marked room, in a building on the other side of campus, for a required class I was sure to find as dull as 3 year-old’s favorite crayon. What was I to do though? It was “Pubic Speaking” or “Interpersonal Communication,” and at the time, I was not much into pushing comfort zones. Get up in front of strangers, and talk about something I don’t care about, or sit, be quite, and listen. Yep, I’m going to sit, and relax.
And relax I did. More than I could ever have predicted!
On the first day of a course I fondly referred to as “Therapy Class” to myself, our professor told us to take out a blank notebook. We were to sit, and write 3 things -anything- that we were thankful for that day. We would do that as the beginning of every session for the next 5 months.
The world began to change. I say therapy, but there was nothing wrong in life that it was therapy for. It’s just that during that practice, everything was… better. Everyday events seemed less stressful. Bad situations seems less important. The grass looks greener, and the sun shone brighter. Somehow my mind was changing the very fabric of the universe!
Obviously, concretely, that’s a ridiculous statement. However, given how much gratitude shapes our perception, it had might as well be. Being thankful, and consciously reflecting on that gratitude, retrains our brain to see the world differently.
Better yet, it doesn’t take 5 months! Shawn Achor found that spending two minutes a day writing down three new things participants were thankful for, for 21 days in a row caused changes. “And at the end of that,” he say’s, “their brain starts to retain a pattern of scanning the world not for the negative, but for the positive first.”
The amazing thing about gratitude is that it changes the way we think about, and see the world around us. It’s not only about showing our appreciation for the good in our lives. It is about unearthing, and recognizing the good we had not seen. It shifts our thoughts toward more positive thoughts outside of the exercise. Moreover, it facilitates a stronger natural sense of general well-being.
Welcome to Therapy
So what do you need if you want to try this out?
Grab a spiral notebook. If you don’t have one, grab piece a paper for now so you can get started before you forget. However, get a notebook sometime that you can use only for this.
Write the date, and number it 1, 2, 3.
Now write 3 things that you are grateful or thankful for. These can be people, an event from the day, a possession, an achievement, or anything at all you feel grateful for.
Important: Don’t just write down the thing itself. (ie #1- turkey.) Start each line with some form of “I am grateful for ___.” That’s my favorite: “I am grateful for ____.” However, it could be “I’m thankful for _____.” Or if you prefer to address your thanks to god, or the world at large you might prefer: “Thank you for ____.” Whatever works. If another phrase is more comfortable, use it. The important part is that repetition at the beginning that we are about to list one more thing we are grateful for.
List 3 new/different each day.
Dunzo.
It only takes a few minutes, and at the very least will usually make you smile to yourself.
Thank You
I think it’s worth saying here today: Thank YOU! It means the world to me to be able to sit, write for all of you, and have you read it. From the bottom of my heart, I am grateful every day I get to do this thing that I love doing. Another form of therapy perhaps. So thank you! Thank you for reading, and thank you for every new plan you put into action.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day with your families, and loved ones. And for my readers not from the States, maybe just eat some turkey for the fun of it!
-Michael Speck