November 11, 2015
Time Waits for No Man
So finding some peace and quiet is vital to reconnecting with ourselves. Great.
So it’s how we come back stronger, with refreshed views. Awesome.
So we can work less, and be more successful if we just take the time to get away once in a while. Perfect.
But who’s got the time!
I mean come on! We all would like a little more peace, and quite. We’d all like a little more vacation. We’d all like a little more time to relax. There just aren’t enough hours in the day- Am I right?
True: There are just 24 hours in a day. Maybe 8 of that is sleep, so 16 hours. (I know it’s math, but I’m doing it for you. Stay with me!) 16 hours. That 112 for the week. 6,720 minutes. Are you going to work all of that?
Why?
We are working longer and longer hours. We pick up hobbies, and chores that turn in to work. And you know what? We’re really damn good at it! Humans are amazing at adapting. We get become accustomed to working in some form all the time, and we get more efficient at it. Doesn’t really matter whether what we are doing is effective or not. We are mean-green-efficiency-machines.
Before long something astounding happens. We become so good at working that we forget how to not work. What would that even look like? The closest we seem to come it to watch TV.
That is not the absence of work.
The absence of work is to do nothing. [Triple Gasp!]
Nothing: There’s Nothing Quite Like It
“Nothing” has become an absolute foreign concept to us. Like telling you to turn your phone off for vacation, I can already hear your reply: “You want me do to what!?” Like a pageant winner, who gets a job cleaning Taco Bell bathrooms, we react with outrage at the thought.
“Like just sit there?”
“Well you can still listen to the birds chirp, feel the warm breeze, and watch the world around you.”
“Like! Like just sitting there!?”
“Yes.” [sigh]
Doing nothing is as involved and complicated at it sounds, which is to say- not very. However, it is by no means easy. Give it a whirl. Sit comfortably. Put a gentle 5 minute alarm on your phone. Don’t start it quite yet. After you start it, I want you to close your eyes, and think about nothing but your breathing. The way it goes in, and out. The way your chest goes up, and down. In, and out. That’s all. If you find yourself planning, (or plotting my demise for this) gently return your thoughts to your breath. Do not fall asleep, but do not day dream either. Rest your closed eyes on a spot on your forehead, or inside you. Focus, but only loosely, and only on your breath.
Now close your eyes and start the alarm.
Was it easy? Not for most. Most of us want to be doing. What a waste of time just sitting there. I could have at least been planning dinner. I have so much to do!
Well, save that for the other 955 minutes you have away today.
There are more ways than just meditation to relax into periods of inactivity. (Oh you didn’t know that was what I had you doing did you? If so, congratulations on your first meditation!) Here are some more ideas for getting a little time off the clock. Understand, when you are not at work, you are the boss keeping yourself from taking a break. (Also, your manager at work seems a little more lenient now don’t they?)
Vacation
Vacations are perhaps the first example that comes to everyone’s mind. A week or more away helps us to reset expectations, and really dial back that over-reactive stress response we tend to nurture. However even during a week away, to have a genuinely relaxing vacation, we have to vacation right. (If you’ve ever felt like you needed a vacation from the vacation, you know what I’m talking about.)
We have to learn to let go of the busyness we thrive on at home for a little while. Sometimes this isn’t very easy to do. We start filling our vacation with the same level of disorganized activity for the sake of activity, that we do at home. It is difficult to let go.
Bird Watching
Now I don’t exactly mean you have to go out searching for, and only watching the birds. Sit at a park. Watch some source of water. Listen to the birds. Feel this sun. Preferably watch nature, but if there are passers-by, watch the people. Day dream a bit. Don’t plan. Day-dream. Wonder. Enjoy. Relax.
This is how we remember how to do nothing. This is how we supplement our vacations with extra time away from our busy lives. It’s how we train ourselves to act on vacation. It’s how we live deeply in the moment.
Take a Walk
Walking adds something a little extra. It gets some endorphins going, some blood pumping, and our minds thinking. Our thoughts come alive with our limbs, and we seem to bustle with activity. Now relax. Let you mind bustle with activity directed at nothing in particular. Learn to notice the trees, the houses, the small creatures. Learn to direct that bustle at your surroundings, and think peacefully. There are other times for planning -other walks even. This time learn to relax into the walk.
Stare Out the Window
If worse comes to worst, just sit by a window, and look out. Find 10 minutes to not do something each day. This is how we learn to let go for just a little while.
We have 950 minutes left for everything else. You are the boss. Give yourself a 10 minute break to do nothing. Soon it will not be enough. That’s ok. You have much more time than 10 minutes a day available to do nothing, I promise. However, if you can’t find 10 minutes, if you can’t sit there for 10 minutes, you are the one that needs this the most!
Remember how to relax.
And breath.
-Michael Speck