October 19, 2015
[Updated 10/21/15]
Living life is a tricky endeavor. The past develops us seemingly in a darkroom without our knowledge. The future pulls us toward our Dreams, or pushes down on our minds. To live in the moment is perhaps the greatest challenge there is. To breath in, and out. To expect only this. To see only now. There is only this moment. Infinite and forever, but only now, here, and once. To feel it completely is perhaps the greatest challenge there is. Perhaps. But I know of one even greater.
Over the past few months I’ve written about turning off the cell phones, going on vacation, and just letting the present sink in. It is by shutting away the distractions we work through normally that we can better appreciate our experiences, our selves, and the people actually with us.
This week my girlfriend, Katie, and I are taking a 7 day trip to see the beautiful Smoky Mountains. Excitingly for the first time, this trip I have -convinced(?)… persuaded(?)… tricked(?)… “Tricked” is probably the best word- tricked her into following my usual “vacation phone protocol.” Meaning, she will also be switching her phone into airplane mode, and tucking it away except for its camera. No phone calls. No text messages. No Facebook. Nada.
Living Life -being present in it- has always been very important to me. Not only does getting away from daily stressers help me to recharge, and settle back to baseline, becoming immersed in new experiences allows me to appreciate the beauty that life has to offer. After all, this world, this life, is amazing! When I open my eyes, waking to the sunlight resting across them, it reminds me not of the promise of tomorrow, or the joy of yesterday, but of the excitement this day. I want you to fall desperately in love with life.
I don’t believe in fate. I believe that this is the only life I get. And I believe that it is my responsibility to myself, and everyone around me to live it in the best manner for me. If we are here for a reason, I believe it is to follow our dreams, relish in our existence, and to love. We are star-stuff turned into thinking minds. We feel each other within ourselves. You are part of me. I can feel you in my mind, and in every piece of my existence.
Breath in.
Then, Smile.
Life is not something we exist within. Life resides deep within us. Our perspective, and vision shape the way we see the world. They impact the way we interact with it. It is what is inside us that determines our experience of external reality. We do not live to observe. We live to experience. I have always thought that to love life, is to learn to love what is inside of me.
But now I know a different truth. To love life, is to love you.
When I see you, I see a strong gentleness. You make me understand how there can be strength in vulnerability. There is a calm stillness in you that seems to contain the whole world at once then reply back with connected sincerity. You inspire me to be more connected. Closer to family. More expressive with friends. More open to strangers. You help me to remember something long forgotten: that the greatest risk is not in letting people in, but in attempting to experience the world without them.
I see innocent joy in your eyes. Your smile makes me feel alive. Happy. You allow me to feel child-like. You encourage silliness, whether or not you mean to. You make existence simple. Honest. The world becomes a playful place, and through laughter, every corner of my mind seems brighter. I’ve long held a goal to make you laugh at least once every day. (You didn’t know that did you?) Every time you laugh or smile at me, there is a moment of blissful lightness that nothing competes with.
You are tolerant. You are compromising. Your expectations of the world feels like reality. Your acquiescence is like the beauty of a sunset. With you I feel more giving, and at the same time more resolute. I can begin to see the world differently. Your strength is in allowing me to be strong. Your beauty is in making the world beautiful.
You make mistakes. You own them, resolve them, and let them go. You don’t punish me for mine. You don’t obsess over issues that can not be fixed. You trust me to fix the issues that can be. You believe that everything will work itself out in the end. And you help me to believe so as well. With you, I am less critical. I am less obsessive. I am less fearful, and less worrisome. You illuminate life. Fear, contempt, irritation, and strain fade away like retreating shadows. With you, I can love confidently, breath fully, and be completely.
You love.
I love you because you are everything Love means to me. You are the embodiment of a dream. You are the sensation itself. You are the values of Love in flesh. You make me love deeper. You kindle stronger feelings of genuine love in me, not just for you, but for everyone around me. You help me to see what makes us human. I believe if anything is the mark of a good relationship, it is that you are better people together.
You make me a better man.
I love you.
To live in the moment is not the greatest challenge there is. To love the life within that moment is. When I fell in love with you, I fell in love with life. The two are now the same. To love life is to love you. When we are together there only is this moment, this life, and this love, infinite and forever.
(Down)
Katie, will you marry me?
*To everyone else, Katie is still incommunicado, and won’t see this till I show her in a day or two. So please leave your happy well-wishes to her in the comments below, or on facebook. I know she’ll be thrilled to see them!
Update:
She said “Yes”… But her tears told me everything I needed to know!
Katie loved your comments, and I did too! We’ll talk to you all after our trip away together. Thanks!
-Michael Speck
Janet
October 19, 2015
So beautiful! Congratulations Katie and Mike
Eric
October 19, 2015
Awesome news! Congrats
Alison Gleason
October 19, 2015
!!!!!!!!!!! I’ve waited for this day for so long. Two people that couldn’t be more perfect for each other. I love you guys!!!
Angie
October 19, 2015
Yea! Congrats Katie! Love you guys!
Aunt Judy
October 19, 2015
Congratulations to you both!!
Teri Gillock
October 19, 2015
This is the best proposal yet! Congratulations!
Kathy
October 19, 2015
Congratulations Katie and Mike!! So happy for you both!
Holly Grider
October 19, 2015
Very cool!! Congrats Katie. I wish nothing but the best for both of you; )
Jessica Ryan
October 19, 2015
Omg!!!!! I’m so excited !! Love u soo much Katie! Congrats!!!!
Gail van nest
October 19, 2015
How sweet! What a wonderful journey is ahead for you all!
Misty Miller
October 19, 2015
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!! You guys are amazing together and I wish you nothing but the very best this new adventure has to offer!!!!!!!!
Jean & Ron
October 19, 2015
Grandma Ladage sends her love and she wishes you all the best!
We love you & can’t wait to see you both!
sherry campbell
October 19, 2015
So sweet….Congrats Katie & Mike!!
Jenni Rogers
October 19, 2015
Tears!!!! Omg this is so amazing! Congrats!
Rae
October 19, 2015
Such beautiful words!! Congrats Katie & Mike! So happy for you both!!! Love you!!
Linda
October 19, 2015
Congratulations Katie! Beautiful proposal, I’d say he’s a keeper!
Beautiful words Mike and congratulations.
Dani Allen
October 19, 2015
Aaaahhhhhhh!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!! I’ve been waiting for this!!!!!! Say yes! Say yes!!! Love you Katie girl!!!
Jennifer Law
October 19, 2015
Congratulations to my beautiful cousin! You have your Prince Charming! I am so happy for you both! Love Katie!!!!
Heather Roark
October 19, 2015
Wow! This is awesome! Congratulations!
Heather Norton
October 19, 2015
Michael Speck. . .you have a beautiful way of expressing yourself in writing. I totally agree with you on Katie’s love of life and people around her. So happy for you both! Please share more as this unfolds. Congratulations!!!
Mike and Susan Willey
October 19, 2015
How sweet! Congrats Katie and Mike, so happy for you!!
Barb and Dave
October 20, 2015
Congratulations Katie and Michael – I’m so happy you found each other in friendship and love! Katie, You are so good for Michael.. Thank you for loving him as you do! You are both fantastic people. We love you both!
Ms Wanderlust
October 22, 2015
Congratulations to you both!!!! I am so very happy for both of you. Wishing you both a very happy life together!
Michael Speck
October 25, 2015
Thank you everyone for your very kind words! We really enjoyed reading all your happy wishes together!